babyJaslyn's Xanga

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Sun, 19 Apr 2009 14:55:23 GMT

seriously, why need to put it out loud on ur blog to tell ppl abt the past. (the part which i love you alot) eh wait, i didnt tell you when i stop loving you doesnt mean i'm still loving you. lol.

yes you yourself say we are impossible ever.

wat i simply did is.

move on.

duh.

don blame my boy, he's just going with his heart.

everyone lies too. :)

if it's a celebration to you, you wont be saying all these things.

ain't i right?

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Sat, 18 Apr 2009 19:40:38 GMT

i realise i trust too easily, i believe too easily.

i felt cheated.

i feel disgusted at this point abt how fake you are, and seriously i dont know which words you had said are true.

feel seriously sick that i even put you in consideration.

so all along a theft is calling "catch the theft!!"

wow

impressive.

well, fair enough.

you wont even be the last person i ever wan to be heard off even if it's end of the world.

well done.

history.

oh good news. 18april is the mark of my new life.

all thanks to my dear dennis chew chin hwee!! ahhahas.

thanks for being with me all this while and accept who i am baby. really appreciate alot for all you had done for me. insisting on being by my side when i ask you to leave. insisting that one day i will see what you had done for me. and i finally see it. :)

baby is slping on my bed, gotta wake him up in an hour time so he can catch the first bus home. poor baby. both of us is so so so broke till we have to think what to eat for the next meal. sob sob. we shall persever tgt!! lalalala. no worries, i believe we will get through it tgt one day. lol.

ouch i need to keep myself awake. zzzz freaking feel like slping alr.

i realise my blog timing abit cock up. -.-

Monday, April 13, 2009

Mon, 13 Apr 2009 19:27:12 GMT

i dreamt, i dreamt of three people last nite.

three that i care so much but there's nth i can do abt it.

one that i shld have let go long ago.

one that i hurted deeply with myself not knowing what i did.

one that is still so foolish to hang around and stay for me.

what i wan, wat i need, wat i see, no longer matter anymore.

for death is giving me the mercy and is slapping me in my face to be brave and face it all.

for death doesnt want me in his world at this time.

for i know, death is just an easy way out, easy way ot of this fucking boring torturing fake world.

which i turn fake to deal with it.

well done.

be gone, am gone.

bye

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Sun, 12 Apr 2009 20:00:01 GMT

things being going through my mind, surprisingly i have no idea what when though my mind at all.

just blank, real blank.

i chose to escape, i chose to run. and i'll run forever.

take real care

i wont be around to hurt you deeper, for i'm a minor.

Friday, April 10, 2009

Fri, 10 Apr 2009 08:56:55 GMT

dead. i'm dead. i wish i'm reali dead.

sorry.

jus sorry.

Wednesday, April 08, 2009

Wed, 08 Apr 2009 20:43:50 GMT

i fuck myself real hard.

yes i did.

it doesnt matter anymore.

Sunday, April 05, 2009

Sun, 05 Apr 2009 20:48:26 GMT

just fucking stop all this. i cant take it already. i'm ruining myself because i cant get over it.

no point explaining anymore.

I FUCKING BETRAYED YOU. IF THAT WHAT YOU THINK, THEN SO BE IT.

you are right, then go ahead and be right.

i'll be the bad one. let me take all the blame. let me take all the shit. let me ruin myself.

since it dont fucking make a diff now.

Thursday, April 02, 2009

Thu, 02 Apr 2009 22:12:10 GMT

i went back to the prawning place. the place i being trying to avoid for sometimes. i realise, somehow or somewhere, there's still sight of your shadow lingering around like a wandering soul. out of somewhere, the taste of bitterness came biting into my heart.

i dont know who you refering to about in your blog. it could be me, or someone new who came into your life who bring you hope rather then the pain i cause to you.

i guess it's retribution, cause i, myself, cant walk out of the heartbroken moment i had caused to us.

i thought burning the photos helps, i thought keeping the stuff in the corner of the room helps, i thought moving on with my life and trying my best not to hear or know anything about you helps. but i still cant kick the habit of having polar to make me sleep peacefully everytime.

can i dont think about you? no i cant. but i'm trying not to. i'm trying to tell myself i dont miss you. but truth cant be beaten.

let me stay this way, for you are better without me, for i can make do being like this alone. i dont have a choice.

i guess i'll be fine alone. just me alone.

i still pray for you. be happy, be well.

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Sun, 29 Mar 2009 23:31:45 GMT

fed up fed up. wat the fuck happen to me?! why the fuck your face came up after so long. i tot i long forget you. somehow or someway you still linger somewhere. and i'm fed up. i'm fed up with relationship now. fuck bgf!!

knnbccb.

i know i'm better off being alone.

Monday, March 16, 2009

Mon, 16 Mar 2009 20:26:47 GMT

some how i feel fuck up about some part of my life. yes i do. i seriously fucking do.

let it be. i cant be bothered anymore. there nth i can do. so be it.

i'm killing my own soul for your marcy.